The Manifestation of Cat Mom

Posted on May 8, 2021 by Pamela Knudsen

After I sold my condo three years ago and started packing-up all my stuff in preparation to move, I came across a journal from my high school days. One entry stated that I didn’t want kids, that I didn’t like kids much and that I didn’t want to be married. Well, that explains things! At the age of fifteen, I set an intention that stuck. I’ve never been married and never had children. In my late 30s the desire to have a baby finally kicked-in, but my boyfriend at the time who I eventually became engaged to did not want kids. It was either stay in the relationship or break it off with the hopes of finding the right match and someone who wanted kids. I loved this guy and my desire to be in a romantic partnership was stronger than my need to have a child. After four years it turned out that we weren’t very compatible and despite the engagement, he was very trepidatious about marriage, which at the time was something I wanted. Turns out my views on marriage had changed since that teenage journal entry.

When I purchased a condo in my mid-forties, I thought about adopting a child. I had the room to raise a kid and a well-paying paralegal job. But the job was demanding and my workdays long. Between work, taking care of two cats, and myself I knew that I would not be able to dedicate the time, and would not have the energy it took to properly raise a child on my own. Instead…I rescued another cat, Topper.

Topper and Froggie

I loved having three kitties in the house. Lexington, Punkie and Topper. When Punkie passed away at the age of 20, I rescued another kitty, Bella. I wanted a kitten at the time, but at the age of eight, Bella had twice been relinquished to shelters. By the time I met her, she’d been with a rescue group for several months (older cats are often overlooked for adoption). Besides feeling an instant connection with Bella, my heart hurt for her. I wanted to give her the best home ever and all the love she deserved, and I succeeded. I witnessed Bella blossom from guarded and scared to loving and confident. Three years after I adopted Bella she died from lung cancer, which was devastating and took a long time to overcome. But then another cat, Bobcat sauntered into my life and once again I had another feline to love and care for.

Bella

Bobcat

Bobcat, Topper and Lexington have all passed, and now I have a new kitty, Samantha. Once again, my maternal instincts have resurfaced and are being put to good use. It didn’t occur to my fifteen-year-old self that I could have kids that didn’t involve human children, that I could adopt children of the feline sort.

Samantha and “Bobcat”

I’ve been a proud cat mama for thirty-three years. And although I actually adore children unlike my younger self, I have no regrets for not having children of my own.

Happy Mother’s Day to mothers of humans, cats, dogs, bunnies, goats, horses or whatever your child happens to be.

The Motherhood of Cats

Posted on May 12, 2019 by Pamela Knudsen

Over the last few days, as I’ve read and heard “Happy Mother’s Day” sentiments, I think about how I missed that boat. I didn’t even think about wanting kids until I was in my late thirties. At that time, I had a boyfriend who didn’t want kids. Preferring a relationship to procreation, I accepted his no kids policy and never felt like I was missing out. Since the age of twenty-six, I’d been the caretaker or “mother” of cats, which must have satisfied the desire to mother children of the human kind.

Punkie at about nine months

Baby Frankie

But, when I was about forty-five, I felt a stronger yearning to have children—talk about being a late bloomer. I even entertained adopting…for about five minutes. That yearning dissipated quickly when I came to the conclusion that I had just enough energy to take care of three cats and myself.

Punkie

Topper and Lex always into mischief together.

I’ve been the mother of two or three cats for the past thirty years. Mothering cats (or dogs, goats, horses…whatever your furbaby) is much like mothering human kids. Not that I know from first-hand experience, but I do know that the same qualities in mothering human children apply to our animal children. We are here to protect, love and nurture these precious sentient beings. I’m a fierce protector of my kitties; I love them deeply, and apply discipline when needed (Boys—MY chair…for just five minutes…pawleeez).

I’ve mothered cats from kittenhood; nurtured their growth into old age and into their moment of passing—a responsibility and duty I take seriously.

Three cat night… From the top: Topper, Lexington and Bobcat.

Lexington and Cat Lady

Over the years, many people have expressed amazement when meeting my cats at their friendly and peaceful dispositions. All six cats have (or had) very different personalities and backgrounds. It’s how they’ve been raised, I say.

Miss Bella

Topper

Bobcat

Happy Mother’s Day to All!

I Have Cats…Not Kids

Posted on May 14, 2017 by Pamela Knudsen

After a guest spot on Laguna’s very own radio station, KX93.5 yesterday morning during which I educated listeners about our local cat sanctuary, the Blue Bell Foundation for Cats, I went to the Farmer’s Market to buy some fresh flowers. The vendor thanked me and cheerfully said, “Happy Mother’s Day!” I could have informed her that I don’t have any children, which I’ve done before in response to Mother’s Day well wishes from strangers. Rather, I smiled and said, “Thank you—you too!”

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I chose cats over kids. It wasn’t a conscious decision; I just never had the kid calling when I was in my 20s, when most women want to have babies. It hit me when I was about 38 and with a boyfriend who didn’t want children. I had two cats at the time, Punkie and Frankie and reasoned that they satisfied my later-in-life calling to have babies.

punkie and pam

Baby Frankie

That worked until we broke-up about four years later, leaving me single, in my early 40s and the yearning to have a baby came back. I entertained adoption…for about five minutes. A single woman working a paralegal job with long hours taking on a baby…I looked at Punkie and Frankie and thought, I have children. They were furry, had tails and said “meow” instead of “mommy” but they needed my love, attention and care; and I found great reward in providing all that to them. And in return, I received unconditional love, joy, and had a sense of duty that a mom of a human baby might have. I realized I was okay without kids. I had a full and rewarding life and I would use my caretaking “mommy” skills on cats and the kids in my life that weren’t mine.

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