On Thursday afternoon, June 24th, I drove home from my final radiation treatment with the sunroof down, the song “Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In” blasting from the CD player and my vocals working hard to keep up with Marilyn McCoo’s high notes. A few weeks ago I couldn’t belt out much more than a squeak. Cancer treatments even wore out my vocal cords in addition to every other muscle and organ in my body. I was emotionally and mentally drained at this point, but overjoyed with relief after having just completed the last of thirty-six radiation treatments over the past seven weeks. I was done with having cancer and enduring chemo, surgery and radiation. My only duty now was to heal from all that, which would take probably just as much patience as it did to undergo those harsh treatments.
As I approached Laguna Beach, while inhaling the salty sea aroma and watching giant waves crash against a lofty cliff jutting out into the ocean, it occurred to me that it was almost eight months ago to the day that I’d been diagnosed with endometrial cancer, which ended up being stage IIIC—fairly advanced. On that day, I had driven down Pacific Coast Highway on the way home from Hoag Hospital shaking with uncontrollable sobs and mental chatter driven by fear, which drowned out the sound of crashing waves and whatever song was playing on the radio.
As my drive home from my final radiation treatment continued, I reflected back to what has transpired over the past year since cancer made itself known with it sneaky symptoms that I initially thought were stress or a hormonal imbalance.
I’ve gone through varying types and phases of physical, emotional and mental torture beyond anything that my imagination could have concocted. And this went on for seemingly so long, it’s hard to believe that the curtain finally closed on the debilitating dance that cancer and treatments choreographed in my body. But the overwhelming sense of joy I felt as I made my way towards home was proof that the real-life nightmare was over. The only thing missing from my celebratory drive home from Hoag Hospital was my long hair blowing in the wind.
Just a few days before my last zap of radiation, I awoke feeling so beat-up, I was questioning if I could even get myself to Hoag for my thirty-third radiation treatment. I have to move, I thought to myself. I rolled out my yoga mat and after several Sun Salutations, Warrior poses and overall body stretches, I truly felt better. I got up to make breakfast and in the meantime, Samantha took advantage of the yoga mat still on the floor and showed-off some of her own feline style yoga poses.
Let the healing begin—and let the sunshine in!
To my “Help Cat Lady Kick Cancer” team of precious family members, friends and my supportive blogger and social media follower friends, THANK YOU with all my heart for your undying support and love. I could not have been a cancer-fighting warrior without you!
And I have such gratitude for my loving Bobcat (RIP) and new feline sweetie-pie, Samantha, who are true testaments to the healing power of animals.
I’m sure you wondered “why me” so many times. No one know why but it has brought out the warrior woman in you Pam. You discovered strengths you never knew you had and that is maybe the biggest benefit of all. Love, Mom
I asked questions, but they were not so much “why me” but “how” did I get cancer when I’ve lived a healthy lifestyle and it doesn’t run rampant in the family, and “what” is the lesson that I’m to learn here, and it better be a good one for going through all this…LOL. And along the way I did learn a few things that I may otherwise never have learned. One thing is that I am stronger than I realized! Thank you for recognizing that! xoxo
Purrayers to you and your kitties as you continue to heal.
Thank you for the purrayers!
What great news Pamela! And how wonderful that you can sing again! I’m very happy for you and wish you all the best going forward. Love the series of pictures and all the joy they express!
Thank you so much Leah! I’m glad you enjoyed the pics!
Thinking of you, Pammie! Always in my thoughts. Let the healing begin!! 💜
Thank you, Robin!xo
Good read , dear Pam . Day by Day !
You sure look well for what you have been through. Hope to see u you is soon . Tons of love , Auntie Rachel
Thank you, and day by day is my new mantra…thanks for all your support! xoxo
We are absolutely thrilled for you Pamela. You have been an inspiration and example of living in the now, radiating positivity and strength and looking gorgeous as you did it. Your grace and inner beauty are truly a ray of brilliant light . Now it’s time to heal and get on with the rest of your glorious life.
Suzanne, thank you for being so supportive and an inspiration to me! Cheers!
Yay! I’m so happy for you! I’m glad you kept going. And I’m glad that Samantha Jo is now on your journey with you. Hugs to you both!
Thank you so much! 🙂 I love having my little partner to journey with…