Circle of Love

I woke up in the middle of the night with heavy tightness in my chest.  I took in a deep inhale and realized it wasn’t asthma, just a sad heart.

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Life has been quite a struggle lately—unfulfilled work-related opportunities, all those close calls but not sealing the deal (the biggest disappointment was not landing curriculum authorship for a cat behavior certification program of which I was in the running); yet, the most disappointing is the recent end of my relationship with Gary.  We broke-up a year ago after a 2.5 year run and had been on-and-off ever since, making attempts at reconciliation. Even during the “off” times we were in touch. Our connection was always strong; so was the hope. I mean, doesn’t “break-up” mean that something is simply broken and therefore, just needs to be fixed?

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Apparently no amount of glue can fix our cracked hearts.

I took a couple more deep inhales and stretched out my legs to find that something was in the way of a complete stretch. It was Bobcat. So I rolled over to the other side of the bed, but was stopped short by Topper, snuggling the pillow on my right. I tried curling up with the pillow to my left, but grasped a handful of fluff—Lexington.

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I slowly sat up and turned on the bedside table lamp, which cast an amber glow across the room, softly illuminating my Circle of Love: my three cats encasing me, embracing me with their love, undoubtedly knowing that I’d just lost my love for good and they were comforting me with theirs.

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I finally fell back to sleep and awoke a second time with the sunrise, and with Topper still next to me. I released more sadness of recent events with a quiet cry. Topper rolled over to face me. He put is paw on my cheek and stared into my damp eyes. Then he licked my tears, which was so moving, I cried harder, then felt an overwhelming sense of joy at this sweet gesture by my feline companion; this near wild creature with such a tender side, which made me smile, then invoked laughter.

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With that, Topper jumped off the bed. His job was done and it was time for breakfast.

And even though I’m fighting tears, I still have hope that I will meet my “Sam”…

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The King of Blue Bell

I think it’s human nature to assume that iconic individuals will be in our lives forever, especially those whose artistry makes an indelible mark on culture. When I opened the newspaper last week to read that B.B. King had died, I was shocked and saddened, but not surprised. He was after all 89 and had suffered diabetes, declining health and was in hospice. As I read the article I recalled when I saw him perform at the Doheny Blues Festival during his 80th Birthday Celebration tour, and wow—he still had it goin’ on. His guitar riffs and velvety voice made me forget he was 80. He may have passed on, but he lived a long inspirational life and made renowned music for the most of it.

IMG_1889A week before The King of Blues passed, another icon of a feline sort departed from this world. Smokey, the 21 year-old longest residing feline of The Blue Bell Foundation for Cats lost one of his nine lives on May 14, 2015. When I heard the news, I was also shocked and saddened, but not surprised. During my last visit to Blue Bell, just days before he passed, Smokey was sleeping in his usual spot on an upper level bunk bed in the main room. He woke up and raised his head to greet me as I walked over to him.  I scratched under his chin and said, “Hey, handsome, how ya doin’,” to which he responded with a purr and a long deep stare into my eyes. I could almost hear him say, “I’m about done.” He looked very tired.

398738_10150594777365935_193575498_nSmokey joined Blue Bell in 1998 at the age of about 4. Prior to his arrival, he got into a brawl with a raccoon and ended up with a blind left eye; not bad considering he was up against a brute who could’ve out clawed him far beyond one eye. And I bet that raccoon never scrapped with a cat again. Smokey was a bad-ass alpha cat, but he was cool about it.  Some alphas like to pick fights to show who’s boss. With Smokey, just a look would clear the room of irksome felines.

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If Smokey were to be compared to someone, well it would have to be actor Sam Elliott, especially his character Wade Garrett in that campy classic, Road House. Ruggedly good looking, with a smooth swagger and courteous manner—but don’t mess with him.

292746_10150370631295935_742727148_nSmokey was a cool alpha cat who’d toughed it out with a raccoon, and spent most of his 21 years as the reigning feline of a cat sanctuary in Laguna Canyon. He certainly wasn’t a famous blues musician, but Smokey was The King of Blue Bell, and he will be missed.

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