Tag Archives: Cat Love

Eight Days and Nine Nights of Sunshine

Posted on by
13

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been feeling ready to invite a new kitty into my life, which has caused me to reflect on an adoption attempt I made last spring.

By June of 2020, Bobcat had gained weight and became diabetic since his best friend Lexington passed in December of 2019. He was still affectionate and attentive towards me, yet seemed so sad.  I came to the conclusion that a new friend; specifically a girlfriend, would be good medicine for Bobcat.

I began my search spending several weeks of reviewing cat bios on Petfinder, finding only two prospectives.  After no response to my inquiries from the shelters, I moved on. Another cat of interest was at a shelter run by just one woman who did call me back, sounding out of breath saying that she had too much going on, but she would call me back at 7:00 that evening.  She never did.  Trying to find a girlfriend for Bobcat was becoming as arduous as online dating.

After a two-week break I got back on rescue websites to give it another shot.  Within an hour I found two prospective girlfriends for Bobcat and got a call back from the director of the rescue group. The two cats in question had already been adopted, but she invited me to a PetSmart adoption event happening that weekend.

Me: Bobcat, I’m off to PetSmart to find you a girlfriend! Bobcat: A what?…

I arrived at the PetSmart adoption center on Saturday morning and immediately noticed a pretty two-year-old girl named Sunshine.  Her bio stated that she was sweet and sociable. Perfect.  Sunshine bonded with me instantly, and I adopted her on the spot.

Sunshine, photo courtesy of Susan Brown Matsumoto Photography

On the drive home I began to feel apprehensive.  While Sunshine seemed like a good fit for Bobcat, She did not tug at my heartstrings.  I suddenly felt I’d made a hasty decision, made in the moment out of tiring of the selection process, and just wanting Bobcat to have a friend.  In the past, I always knew upon meeting my prospective new cat—sometimes just by looking at the photo that he or she was the one.  Yet, I’d “sleep on it” before making my final decision to adopt.  If I woke-up the day after meeting the potential adoptee with the same excitement I had upon our meeting, I scheduled another visit.  If the same warm-fuzzy feelings filled my heart during the second visit, I’d adopt. Unbeknownst to me at the time, that apprehension was my intuition giving me a warning, just the same as the strong “knowing” I’ve had when the right cat came along.

Sunshine was sweet and sociable and was also pure alpha—domineering, aggressive and possessive of me. In my attempts to bring the cats into each other’s space I broke up two catfights, one that landed me in urgent care with serious cat scratches and another with Bobcat at the vet for a scratched eyelid.  Bobcat became withdrawn and spent lots of time hiding.

Is she gone yet?

The circumstance had become unhealthy and very stressful for everyone involved, so I relinquished Sunshine to the shelter.  She was a wonderful cat, but not for us.  Once she was gone, Bobcat and I rekindled our love and life was peaceful again.

Ahhh, I’m in the clear, she’s outta here!

In retrospect, I realized that Bobcat just needed more time to grieve, not a stranger invading our space and our one-on-one time together.

I felt horrible having to return Sunshine and guilty that I added more stress to her life.  I wished I’d been more discerning, but I couldn’t go back and undo the situation.  I found solace when I heard that she was adopted a couple of weeks later, and was reminded to always listen to my internal insight.

Let’s see who my intuition will lead me to this time around…stay tuned!

Recovering Without Bobcat

Posted on by
16

Dealing with cancer without my feline companion/nursemaid has been more challenging than I expected.  I had surgery on February 1st, which was supposed to be a full hysterectomy and the removal of a cancerous lymph node, all done robotically on an outpatient basis.  My, how surgical procedures have progressed, except my surgery took an unexpected turn, and I ended up in the hospital.  Some of the cancer inside my uterus decided to take an adventure outside landing on my colon, forming a tumor that had to be removed. Rather than getting home around 5:00 p.m. that day, I awoke to my surgeon telling me I was in the hospital, and would be there for about a week.  Excuse me…WHAT?

The next day while lying in the hospital bed and staring at the ceiling, memories of Bobcat’s antics and his healing ways went running through my mind like a vivid slide show. Images of his frequent concerned stares at me in my exhausted state of being haunted me.  I cried knowing I’d be going home to an empty cottage.  But realized that if Bobcat were home, he would be all alone, wondering what happened to me, and in my post-surgery daze, I would’ve had to figure out who could take care of him.  There’s no good time to say goodbye to a beloved, but maybe the timing of Bobcat’s passing was actually good.  Or was it?

My initial recovery went much quicker than my doctor anticipated.  I was released from the hospital after only two and a half days.  The weeks following were filled with lots of reading and bird watching out the French windows while resting on the sofa.  I also did some writing, binged-watched my current favorite TV shows, When Calls the Heart and Heartland, and started taking walks around the neighborhood.  The pain was manageable with Tylenol, the fatigue with lots of rest, but the loneliness was incurable. I wasn’t sleeping well at night and waking up at 2:00 a.m. without Bobcat to talk to and snuggle created an immense emptiness for which there was no remedy.

I’ve taken to spending probably too much time on Instagram watching cute cat videos, but it’s helping me get my feline fix; a little anyway.  I started following the “cutest goat”, which, well, who can’t be uplifted by a spirited baby goat leaping, jumping and head butting with his pals?  A friend and fellow Blue Bell Foundation volunteer gave me a kitty stuffed animal.  I named him Bobcat and he hangs out with me on the sofa, but sometimes prefers the vintage chair.  I’ve learned that one is never to old to snuggle with a stuffed animal.  It’s been very comforting—thank you, Lynette!

These are Laguna’s fire mitigation goats and in this location are a hike from the cottage. The spotted baby goat leapt over the little white one. Easter 2019.

Today marks the two-month anniversary of Bobcat’s passing.  I miss him every day and every night, but I’m not quite so sad.  Some loneliness still lingers, and I suppose it will probably hang around as long as I am a cat lady with no cats, but I don’t think I can go too much longer without hearing the pitter-patter of paws on the hardwood floor.

Who knows what spring will bring…

Bobcat’s Goodbye

Posted on by
34

As I became conscious before opening my eyes, I instinctively reached for Bobcat.  He was not in bed sleeping next to me. He must be standing guard at the front door or reclining by his scratching post, I thought. I anticipated that any moment I would hear him clawing at the scratcher or the click-clack sound of claws on the hardwood floor.

Within seconds of those thoughts, in my pre-dawn haze, I remembered that Bobcat was no longer with me.  Just the day before he’d joined his best buddies, Topper and Lexington in Heaven.  Over the course of three days after an advanced kidney failure diagnosis resulting from diabetes, Bobcat slowly started to succumb to the inevitable. Before he got any closer to suffering, I called Home Pet Euthanasia of Southern California.  On Friday afternoon, January 15th, Bobcat’s spirit was peacefully set free from his dying body.

Lexington and Topper

For the first time in thirty-three years, I’m without felines in my household.  I’m a cat lady with no cats.  Having had two or three cat companions in my life for all these years, and now, being completely alone is jarring to my soul.  

Three Cat Night. From the top: Topper, Lexington and Bobcat.

Mornings are the hardest without Bobcat.  I miss his good morning greetings of head-butts and “kisses” on my forehead and cheeks.

Early this morning I walked out to the old picket fence enclosing the yard to take in a stunning view of the full moon nestled in storm clouds.  While moon gazing, I thought of Bobcat.  He would have been standing right there next to me in the lemon clovers if he were still here. 

Magical Moon

Not wanting tears to ruin my view of the beautiful scene in the sky, I stifled them.  But as I walked back towards the cottage, tears started to slowly run down my face.  Tears of sadness, yet, I smiled thinking that Bobcat’s precious spirit was with his compadres, Topper and Lexington, flying in the clouds and saying an enthusiastic “Hi Mommy!” to me from the moon.

I was in the midst of writing an entirely different story before I became a cat lady with no cats.  I wondered how I would continue writing about my life with cats—sans cats.  My mom and cat lady friend Gail both reminded me that I’m still a cat lady and have stories to tell.  So I will continue my stories about Bobcat and other cats who were, or are still in my life.  And once I’m past the grief of mourning; once I’m rid of cancer and I’m back to my lively self, I will have more stories to tell about a new feline family member…or two.

Photograph courtesy of Rachel Ault

To my precious Bobcat (who also responded to nicknames Bobby Cat, Bobba, Bobba Cat and Bibbidi-Bobbidi as called by friend Laura who thought him to be quite magical), thank you for your unwavering love, companionship, and for being a strong healing source in my life throughout my dealings with cancer.

 

I will miss you forever.

XOXO