“Some day, yeah / We’ll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun
Some day / When the world is much brighter”
Lyrics to “Ooh Child” by Stan Vincent, performed by The Five Stairsteps
I’m starting to feel like myself again. That crazy dark side has departed, I hope for good, and the crazy had nothing to do with my passion for felines. The drastic shift we’ve all had to make overnight to adhere to the shelter-in-place orders to mitigate the spread of COVID-19 has been more difficult than I anticipated. I thought I’d be more resilient to the fear, anxiety and shock experienced worldwide. And I was, initially. But the chronic worry of how this pandemic is going to pan out while having minimal interaction with human beings for the past month, and trying to efficiently meet demands of my job while working from home with constant computer disruptions has collectively wreaked havoc on my mental and emotional state. I’ve become extremely edgy, impatient and overly emotional. The meaning in “We’re in this together” initially suggested to me strength in numbers—we’re not alone, we have each other. Now this slogan insinuates that we are all suffering together in varying degrees.
Yet, despite my exhausted psyche, I am grateful. I still have a job, I’m healthy and I have my entertaining and loving Bobcat by my side.
My heart hurts for those experiencing truly devastating effects of the pandemic: those who’ve become seriously ill, folks who’ve lost loved ones, and to those experiencing another kind of distressing loss – that of a business or job, and to business owners barely hanging on wondering how they are going to survive.
After six days of rain, the sun came out. I walked the neighborhood and bird watched from my patio. I witnessed a mama crow preening her baby. I’ve seen the barn owl take flight from the king palm tree in the yard twice this week, and I’ve stargazed. Venus has never looked so bright, and Sirius was seriously a gorgeous twinkling shade of blue last night.
Communing with Mother Nature helped to dissolve the negative emotions that assaulted my being—that and an attitude shift. “Enough. I need to start sending out positive vibes into the world. That’s got to help in some way,” I said to Bobcat. I’ve been talking to him a lot, and to the crows (Good morning, crows, how’s the baby?) Even to my Easter décor (Hello little lamby…whatcha doin’?). I know, crazy, right? My Mom told me she’s been talking to bumble bees, so it’s not just me. I think talking to whomever or whatever is around even if these beings or things can’t talk back is comforting.
Of course, Bobcat speaks to me with his eyes…
When he’s not screaming demands at me.
I’m wishing everyone peace, comfort and good health.
Please let me know how you are doing. Has anyone else been feeling a little cray cray? Talking to the birds or inanimate objects?